You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you
are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary
gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. Most Libras die of venereal
disease

                 SCORPIO   Oct 22 - Nov 21

The worst of the lot, you are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted.
You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack
of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered.

                  SAGITTARIUS   Nov 22 - Dec 21

You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to
rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius are
drunks. Nixon was a Sagittarian. You are not worth the time of the day.

                  CAPRICORN   Dec 22 - Jan 19

You are conservative and afraid of taken risk. This means you are
basically chicken shit. There has never been a Capricorn of any
importance. You should kill yourself.

                GEMINI   May 21 - Jun 20

You are a quick and intelligent thinker.People like you because you
are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. this
mean you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on
incest.

                CANCER    Jun 21 - Jul 22

You are sympathetic and understanding to other people`s problems
which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is
why you will be on welfare and won`t be worth a shit. Everybody in
prison is a Cancer.

You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot.
Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest
criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving
motherfuckers are spend most of their time kissing mirrors.

                 VIRGO  Aug 23 - Sep 22

You are the logical type and hate discourse. This shit-picking is
sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often
fall asleep while fucking. Virgos make good drivers and pimps.

                AQUARIUS   Jan 20 - Feb 18

You have an inventive mind an are inclined to be progressive.
You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because
you are stupid. Everyone think you are a fucking jerk.

                 PICES      Feb 19 - Mar 20
 
You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed
by the FBI or the CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and
people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and
are generally a dipshit.

                  ARIES     Mar 21 - Apr 19

You are the pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are
quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are a prick.

                   TAURUS    Apr 20 - May 20

You are practical and persistent. You have a rugged determination and
work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You
are nothing but a goddamn communist.